I- SPOUSES AND SINGLES COMMUNITY
IMPACTFUL COUPLES AND SINGLES COMMUNITY
1 She needs to make sure the family is God centered being prayerful especially if the man is not a prayerful person.
2 She needs to strive to live with a positive mindset and attitude as moody swings depression anxiety and negative attitude are very detrimental to the wellbeing of the family.
3 She needs to make healthier choices as regards the meals in the family and encourage family members to be proactive about their health as death or disease of any family member steals the joy of the family.
4 She needs to be intentional aboit her decisions words and actions and make sure her choices are building the relationship or marriage.
5 She needs to respect her husband especially if the husband is an asset and the husband will love her.
6 in cases, where the husband is not so nice a good wife does not get confrontational. She uses prayers and empowering conversations to turn him around.
7 A good wife chooses her battles and know when to calm down in conflict situations.
8 A good wife shouud be intentional about her relationship with her husband her children her husbands family and her own paternal family.
9 Family bonding ought to be nutured and wives have a, big role in promoting family love cohesion and unity.
10 Men are mostly driven with ego so mind the way you speak to your husband in the public or in front of a third party.
11 All that glitters is not gold. Your husband knows you facially but may never know what’s going on in your inner being. Engage in frank conversations and communicate how you feel and avoid combative communications.
12 Be very warm and cordial when family or friends visit you. Show them you truly care about their wellbeing.
13 Live within your means and that of your husband. Don’t cause unavoidable stress on your husband and family.
14 Don’t hope on your spouse or anything external to determine your happiness. They can contribute but don’t let anyone steal your joy.
15 Be careful of the friends you keep. Don’t stay in companies of those encouraging you not to respect your husband.. They are deceiving you.. Do not make them your role models.
16 A good wife is not so emotionally dependent on her spouse. She builds herself into a strong determimned resilient and phenomenal woman being a support system during periods of crisis in the marriage.
17 Avoid nagging and being a perpetual complainant as this is a sure way to give him pain. He may be with you in the same physical space but spiritually mentally and emotionally he is disconnected.
18 Spend money wisely. Do not spend mostly on material things invest in personal development and start early to teach your children the praying habit being happy and developing relationship skills.
19 Encourage your children to bond with their grand parents to learn from them words of wisdom.
20 Arrange regular family rendezvous to improve the bonding of your nuclear family and the extended family.
21 Be a peace maker and always stand for the truth fairness and equity.
22 In relationship and marriage challenges do not play the blame game. As much as possible keep your marriage issues out of family as most family become emotional. The best thing is to seek a life relationship and marriage coach who will focus on the root causes and not on superficial signs and symptoms
. 23 Create a happy environment at home play music and look attractive for your self esteem primarily and your spouse.
24 Encourage your spouse to check on his parents siblings and other family members.
25 Realize that no one is perfect. We all have our weaknesses and strengths. Focus more on your husband’s strengths and deemphasize his weaknesses.
26 Learn from women who have stayed long in marriage. You may call them old school but their choices empower marriages.
27 Don’t make living with young mindset an excuse because sometimes it could cause lack of wisdom and common sense.
28 Do not set unrealistic rules in your relationship and marriage
29 If you tend to get angry easily go for anger management trainings.
30 If your husband is having low libido or erectile dysfunction don’t fuss over it as it affects the relationship or marriage adversely
Many men are having clogging of the vessels of the heart leading to poor blood circulation and some men are on prescriptive drugs which may affect the libido. Try and look for an expert who may give you some natural solutions. I do not recommend drugs for improving sexual performance
31 In certain cases of toxic relationship which may have started affecting the wellbeing of the couple separation may become inevitable so that the two parties, may focus on self development and come back to the marriage better equipped to make the marriage work.
32 Wives should try to minmize toxicity and stress in the separation process to avoid detrimental effects on the children of the marriage.
33 Some couples have separated or divorced for several years and still came back to have a successful marriage.
34 One thing to realize is that marriage should not define your whole identity. Love yourself and be in inner contentment and harmony so you can be an empowering patner in the marriage.
35 The most important thing to learn is that God said you are a master piece, and your challenges are stepping stones to a better life. Do not be overwhelmed by the inevitable challenges of life connect to God and the Holy spirit and tap into God’s spiritual power and authority, live according to God’s plan for you and watch miracles happen in your life.
I have been married for 46 years with challenges lessons and victories. I make God the center piece of my life . I thank God for giving me a wonderful man as a husband Dr Maduka Nwakwesi and blessing us with 5 amazing children their wonderful spouses and 13 adorable grand children.
Join the THE HE & SHE CLUB AND HLS – COUPLES & SINGLES COMMUNITY.
God bless.
Dr Ifeyinwa Nwakwesi MBBS
Growth mindset and integrative lifestyle specialist
The phenomenal Woman